welcome-foolishmortals:

I HAVEN’T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN THREE YEARS I AM HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTCK

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tags: #autocorrects #hahaha

fifty-shadesofgay:

the bible said Adam and Eve not Ted and Robin

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tags: #random #himym

vagisodium:

if someone ever kidnaps me im just going to shit my pants because they either have to wipe my ass or deal with the smell and i want them to have it rough

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tags: #random

sniperj0e:

"date a girl who reads!!", "brainy is the new sexy!", "bigger books are better than bigger boobs!"

oh shut the fuck up

date a person who makes you smile, who makes you snort soda out of your nose and still thinks your laugh is cute

not based on how many john green novels they’ve read or episodes of sherlock they’ve watched you petty little fucks

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tags: #true #love #random

big-boys-so-big-toys:

just cool things

follow back everybody

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tags: #random

transerwin:

the-mantling-dark:

Thor telling dad jokes.

"i’m hungry"

"HELLO HUNGRY, I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN, PRINCE OF ASGARD, AND I AM ALSO YOUR FATHER"

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tags: #random #thor #dad jokes

peetasboxers:

either you put this many questions marks ???????????? or you put none

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tags: #random

bcperfect:

perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee

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tags: #just me

vibranium:

helloimashoutyman:

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.

That’s why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance.

image

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tags: #random #truth

pornographicangel:

falloutbong:

dont hit men!!!!

dont hit women!!!

dont hit people!!!!

unless theyre into that in which case make sure you have a safeword

never respected a post as much as this

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tags: #random #realness
She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.
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tags: #quotes #beautiful

evaded:

I hate when you like something on tumblr to look at it later but when you actually go back to find it, it’s buried within one million other posts and you’re just sitting here like ‘oh’

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tags: #just me #random #tumblr

crystalfy:

It bothers me that the intelligence of animals is measured by how willing they are to obey the commands of a human.

same goes for students at schools

I just realized how fucked up that is wow. 

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tags: #school

nasftamywinehouse:

up until the age of three my mum took me to countless doctors and got me checked out a billion times because she thought i was deaf and i wasnt speaking but it turned out that i was just ignoring everyone unless food/toys/things i want were involved. nothing has changed tbh

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tags: #random #just me

hoho-eminosuke:

what if squidward was a rapper and after all of his songs he went “squid. word”

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tags: #spongebob squarepants